So You’re Engaged… Now What? A Calm, Honest, Stress-Free Guide to Starting Your Wedding Planning

So you just got engaged?!! Where the hell do you start??

Firstly - CONGRATS! 🎉That is a massive commitment you’ve decided to make to each other, and that is so awesome. I’m genuinely really happy for you.

Secondly - PAUSE.Take some time to enjoy the engagement honeymoon period. There is absolutely no rush to dive head-first into planning and stress yourself out, especially if there’s no urgency for you to get hitched.

Any extended family members or random people who respond with “Oh congrats… when’s the wedding?” five seconds after you tell them? Feel free to tell them where to stick it. Enjoy your little engagement bubble, even if it’s just for a while.

(SAVE this post and come back to it later.)

Ready to start wedding planning? Let’s do this.

Once you’ve soaked up the excitement and feel ready to begin, it can all feel like a mammoth task. There are so many factors, and it can be insanely overwhelming.

I’ve helped plan many weddings for lovely couples, planned my own, and helped friends too so I get it. It’s not just you. The wedding industry can be loud, and it takes a bit of practice to tune out the noise and focus on what you actually want.

Step 1 - Prioritise (DO NOT SKIP THIS)

Seriously. Do. Not. Skip.

How can you start cooking a meal if you don’t know what the end goal is?(I mean… some people do cook like that, but only absolute nutters.)

Create three lists:

🔥 HELL YES

Things you really care about or that genuinely excite you.Maybe you’re big foodies and the wedding breakfast is a huge deal. Maybe music is everything to you. If it makes your heart beat faster it belongs here.

🚫 HELL NO

Things that don’t bring you joy or feel stressful.Don’t care about a wedding cake? The idea of a first dance in front of everyone makes you feel uncomfortable? Then nope, out it goes. You do not have to do anything just because it’s “tradition”. This is your day.

🤷 MAYBE

Things you’re unsure about - and that’s totally fine at this stage.

Think of this as the framework for your wedding. Knowing what you want (and what you don’t) will save you time, money and stress later. Trust me.

Step 2 - Budget (Yes, it’s boring… but kind of essential)

I know, not the fun bit. But this is another key part of your framework and will save you a lot of stress if you do it early.

I’ve created a FREE downloadable Wedding Budget Planner, which you can grab by joining the mailing list [here].

Weddings can be insanely expensive, but they absolutely don’t have to be. With a bit of creativity and some out-of-the-box thinking, you can have a beautiful wedding without breaking the bank.

Once you’ve decided what you’re willing to spend, add a contingency for surprise add-ons, price increases, or changing guest numbers. Future you will thank you.

Step 3 - Venue and Date (The juicy bit)

These two go hand in hand.

You might find the perfect venue… but not get your dream date. So think about them together. Consider what time of year you’d like to get married — yes, the UK weather is wildly unpredictable, but venues often offer amazing deals outside peak wedding season (usually April–September).

Google is your friend, but also think beyond that. Ask friends and professionals (hello!) for recommendations.

Things to consider:

• Do you want a one-day celebration or a whole weekend?

• Do you want the legal ceremony and reception in the same place?

• Are you dreaming of an intimate woodland ceremony or a grand Manor House entrance?

Once you’ve shortlisted a few venues - GO AND VIEW THEM. It’s like buying a house: the more you see, the clearer your preferences become. Sometimes you just walk in and know.

(Slightly hypocritical of me, as I booked my wedding venue over Zoom… but it was during a five-month lockdown, so very different times!)

Once you’ve found the one, you can discuss dates and rates. This will likely be the biggest chunk of your budget, so it’s a big step.

👉 One important tip: Check whether the venue includes furniture and marquee hire or if you’ll need to book this in addition, that stuff can add up quickly.

Step 4 — Don’t forget the bloody registrars

If you want to get legally married at your venue (and it must be registered btw), I highly recommend contacting the local registrar before paying your venue deposit.

If you’re booking far enough in advance, you’ll usually have options for a ceremony time but sometimes availability is limited or nonexistent. You’ll need to contact the registrar service in the county where the venue is, not where you live.

If that doesn’t suit you, you can:

• Get legally married at a registry office (same day or different day)

• Have a celebrant or friend lead a non-legal ceremony

This option can be incredibly personal and your venue doesn’t need to be registered, which opens up way more choices.

You did it, you have a wedding!

Once your venue and date are secured, and you’ve booked a registrar/church (or have a legal ceremony plan)… CONGRATULATIONS - YOU HAVE A WEDDING!

Have a little happy dance. 💃

(And please buy wedding insurance!)

Everything else is optional. These are the things that celebrate your personalities, your relationship, and your commitment to each other.

If you choose to include them, I recommend booking these next:

• Photographer

• Videographer

• Caterers

• Marquee (if needed)

If at any point you feel like you need help, please reach out. I’m always happy to chat things through. I offer flexible planning packages, which mean you can still plan the majority of your wedding yourself, or just choose the fun parts and leave the stressful parts to me! Contact me here

I always follow your lead, stepping in where needed and stepping back when you’ve got it covered.

I wish you all the best with planning your wonderful wedding and with your married life together. ❤️