How to Navigate Tricky Wedding Questions at Christmas

Ah, Christmas. The season of cosy nights, endless festive snacks… and, if you’re engaged, the annual parade of “so how’s the wedding planning going?” Sometimes it’s asked with genuine excitement. Sometimes it’s asked with the energy of an interrogation light. Either way, it can feel like your wedding is suddenly everyone’s favourite dinner-table topic.

Most of these questions do come from love or curiosity. But that doesn’t make them any easier, especially when you’re trying to plan a celebration that feels true to you, not shaped by everyone else’s expectations. We’re all about keeping weddings real, meaningful, and grounded in what matters and so Christmas is the perfect time to quietly, kindly, and confidently stand your ground.

Why Wedding Questions at Christmas Can Feel So Intense

The festive season bring everyone together, which is beautiful, but it also means you’re suddenly surrounded by people who all want updates at the same time. Multiply that by a few glasses of mulled wine and suddenly you’re explaining, yet again, why you’re not having a 200-person guest list or getting married in the same church your parents did.

Peter Welland Photography

How to Handle the Questions (Without Losing Your Festive Spirit)

Here are some simple, firm, and kind responses you can keep in your back pocket:

• “We’re keeping things small and intentional, keeping the things that feels right for us.” Perfect for guest list pressure or wedding traditions.

• “We’re figuring out what matters most to us instead of what's expected, so we’re keeping the details quiet for now.” Great when someone wants more information than you’re ready to give.

• “We appreciate the enthusiam, but we’re choosing what means something to us in our relationship and our future together.” Ideal when someone is pushing their vision onto your day.

• “We’ll let you know when we’ve made decisions.” A gentle way to draw a boundary without shutting people down.

Real-Life Examples (Because You're Definitely Not Alone)

Example 1: The Guest List Dilemma Your mum’s cousin’s partner (who you’ve met once) asks if they’re invited. You: “We’re keeping the guest list really close and personal, so we’re only inviting people who are a big part of our lives. But we’ll be sure to share photos afterwards!” Clear. Kind. No extra emotional labour.

Example 2: The Traditionalist Your future father in law can’t fathom why you’re not having a formal sit-down dinner. You: “We love the idea of something relaxed that brings people together, so we’re choosing a style that reflects that. It just feels more ‘us’.” End of discussion, without the drama.

Example 3: The ‘Helpful’ Family Member

Your aunt insists that you must have a 3 tier cake “because it’s tradition. and oh don't worry, I'll make it!” Try this: “It's kind of you to offer, but it's not really us. We're thinking of doing something different that we'll really enjoy." You’ve honoured their input without taking it on.

Peter Welland Photography

Remember: It's YOUR wedding.

You don’t have to explain every choice. You don’t have to reveal plans before you’re ready. And you definitely don’t need to justify wanting a day centred on love, connection and your personal values.

This Christmas, protect your peace. Share what feels comfortable, keep your boundaries where they need to be and trust that the people who truly support your marriage (not just your wedding) will understand.

Your day, your way. Always.